All My Bad News
Published by deviousdiva January 28th, 2008 in Personal.2007 was not a great year for me personally but 2008 has been unkind so far. We’ve had a run of misfortunes and accidents that have left me feeling very low and pessimistic. I wanted to share it with you so that you will understand my silence and disappearances recently.
The move to the new house which filled me with such optimism for new beginnings, has faded somewhat rapidly. We still have no heating here which might not sound like much but it is tiring and unpleasant (to put it mildly). We have been camping in our living room for months with a single heater. If we put on anything more than that, the fuses blow. Every time, I make a cup of tea, I have to remember to turn the heater off so that I don’t blow everything.
So far here, we have replaced faulty wiring and plugs, fixed several leaking pipes, fixed the water heater that blew on Christmas day, had to re-insulate the windows in our balcony room…twice, begged for the landlord to insulate the roof which was supposed to be done before we moved in but only got done a week ago and we are not sure how well, had the air-condition units serviced but they still don’t work properly and on and on and on.
None of these problems are the end of the world I know, but you know, it’s exhausting and I feel very angry that we rented this place on good faith, believing that all these jobs would be completed, if not before we moved in, then soon afterwards. Our landlord seems to have abandoned his responsibilities. I do not want to move again. It’s too stressful. But if these problems don’t get fixed soon, we will have to.
Most of you know that, just before Christmas the kid broke his leg. He’s fine now but that was tough on him (and us). He is still not back to playing his beloved basketball but we are hoping he will be able to in a couple of weeks. It’s horrible when something happens to your child. However small. It’s hard to deal with anything bad happening to loved ones…which brings me to the hardest experience I am going through.
My mum has been living with a very serious illness for much of my life. She has survived (incredibly) from a disease that the doctors said should have killed her within a year of her diagnosis. It is a very rare liver disease which is caused by an immune system failure where her body basically attacks itself. We have been so fortunate that she has managed, not only to live but to live a full and active life.
Just before Christmas, her doctors told her that she is now facing the inevitability of needing a liver transplant. We had hoped that given she has managed her illness for all these years with a remarkable lack of medicines and huge amounts of positivity, that this would not be necessary. The reality is though, that her liver has been deteriorating and in recent times faster than before. She will be having a consultation in February so we will know more about how imminent the transplant might be. We could be looking at something happening this year or it could be several years. We just don’t know yet.
I don’t have to explain I think how painful this all is. It’s frightening and almost too much to process. My mum is an incredible person. She has lived her life with an energy that you don’t see in most people, let alone with someone living with a life-threatening disease. But she is scared. I know she is. And she misses me terribly right now. And that really hurts. That I am not there. She has never judged my choices or made me feel guilty for not being there, but sometimes your heart speaks much much louder than your head. And I know she’s hurting.
As if that wasn’t enough in my mum’s life… on Thursday, she was thrown from a horse. (I told you she lives life with energy. She rides most days so it wasn’t unusual for her to be on a horse!). Unfortunately, she broke her arm in two places and dislocated her shoulder so badly that she will need an operation to keep it fixed in place. Some kind of plate. She goes into hospital on Tuesday night.
Apart from my mum, one of my sister’s goes into hospital to have an operation on a twisted foot bone in March and another of my sisters is going through a very difficult personal crisis which I am not going to disclose.
Sometimes it is so hard to be so far away. Although I have no desire to return to England, my family wish I was nearer. I wish I had a fantasy travel machine where I could just zip backwards and forwards whenever I felt like it.
I know you will understand my distraction and sometimes my absence from this blog. There are more important things going on. I will carry on posting as much as I possibly can, but my tolerance for bad behaviour, meanness and lack of compassion for each other is at an all-time low.
Please spare a thought for my mum. I know she would appreciate it and gain strength from knowing people are thinking of her. Thank you.
UPDATE: I spoke to mum last night and she was sounding much more positive. She is no longer scared of the operation… she just wants to get on with it now. I will keep you posted. Thank you for all your thoughts, prayers, candles and kindness. It means a lot to us. Thank you
Unbelievably (or perhaps obviously?) after my post yesterday, the people came to fix the air conditioning so we have some warmth now. Also, the roof people are supposed to be coming very soon and the landlord is actually moving to sort out the other problems. The love of my life told him that we are considering moving and that seemed to do the trick ! Here’s hoping…
You have no idea how this post speaks to me. I can feel exactly the confusion, pain and guilt you are feeling right now. It pulls you in 10 different directions and there’s only one of you.
Stay strong and take a few days off the blog. The negativity will just drain the energy that you need right now. I’ll be thinking of your mum.
i can’t say anything to make things better, but i’m so sorry you’re going through all this and i hope things get better soon.
I’ll ask my church to pray for you. They pray for people out loud in the service.
DD, so sorry. Will be thinking of you & your family, and sending your landlord a swift kick, too. I hope there’s ease and joy soon.
DD, i’m so sorry to hear about all this stuff that has been going on with you. i know it is exhausting, i’ve been in a similiar situation with a landlord. i’m thinking of you and your family and hoping for the best <3
DD can I please ask you what type of property have you rented and how much roughly is the monthly rent?
I si down town athens or the suburbs?
many thanx nad hope all be well
all my best thouhts for you, your mum and everyone you love…u really deserve all the best energy
I will light a candle for you and yours tomorrow. As a non practicing Catholic, I find candle lighting and saying a prayer for those I care about helps me to feel that something good can come from that action.
Good luck with your family and your home. I am so sorry to learn about all you are going through.
But know you are loved and there will be many of us with warm, kind, and good thoughts directed towards you and your family.
Peace,
Harolynne
dd, I live in london. if there’s anything I can do (from flower delivery to I don’t know what else) just give me a shout and I’ll do my best. hope all goes well.
Oh DD, I feel for you, really. Thinking of you and your mum.
Our last house was like that — huddling for warmth in winter & never cool in summer; had to drag our bed in the living room & cook in the kitchen with 46C temps — which is a major reason we moved. You don’t owe anyone an explanation if you go silent. We’re happy to hear from you whenever you have time and desire to write; we won’t be leaving or giving up on you. Peace to you and your family.
DD, I find the best remedy for hardship is Epictetus, a Greek Stoic philosopher who taught around the 1st century AD, who was also a slave at one time in his life. I read him occasionally when I am not feeling 100%:
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”
Here is a complete translaction by Long:
http://www.constitution.org/rom/epicdisc.htm
I sympathise very much with your feelings about not wanting to move from Greece, but wanting to be closer to family at times of trouble. My wife’s family is in Asia, and mine back in London, and at times of trouble we miss them terribly. I hope the kid is back to his old self soon.
so sorry that everything is so difficult right now. i do hope, however, that the rest of 08 improves…take care.
And I thought our Xmas was bad with my mother and father in law in hospital. Our troubles continue and therefore I have not been visiting your site much and have not sent any messages of support up to now. A refocusing of your energies is understandable but don’t worry about your site. Do not judge your input by your own high standards.
DD, you have a lot on your plate right now. My positive thoughts to you and your family that everything will go well for everyone.
I think the positive aura of your readers’ comments helped move your landlord in the right direction (well, that AND your love threatening him you’d move MIGHT’VE helped too).
Let’s get with the program… does anyone know anyone who knows anyone cos if so then get this someone to have a word with the someone they know so they in turn can have a quiet word with your landlord then all will be fine. This is the way things work!
DD, I’m sorry to hear things aren’t absolutely fabulous right now but I have the belief that things will get better for you and your family pretty soon. I hope soon you and your family will be looking back on these tough times before focusing on the bright future lying ahead.
X
….. K E E P …..S T R O N G…..
_______________________________ZARDOZ
Ellas Devil asked and I answered:
I’m sorry I didn’t give you this sooner DIVA but a good friend of mine had problems with his landlord and these folks were terrific in helping. I’m not sure how much English they know so you may want to enlist a greek speaker to assist you:
Protection against Landlords & Renters Rights:
66 Menandrou St
Athens
tel 210-524-6982
Good luck!
Many Greeks who rent to foreigners take advantage of the fact that you may not know your rights or be afraid to exercise them. I always enjoy the suprise a Greek landlord gets when he realizes the foreign tenant has outsmarted him.
Thank you all for your wonderful words and thoughts.
Thank you George for the info. Someone told us about it yesterday funnily enough (!) but didn’t have the details, so thank you for that.
I will update the situation with my mum today.
Isn’t it funny how the life works ? Since writing this post, the sun has been shining down on us and things are easing slowly. The love of my life, the kid and I are all feeling uplifted by some events in our real life that are going really, really well.
And the love you have sent is very special. Thank you.
Life always brings a lot of challenges but that’s a load at once. I can’t stand being cold so I particularly empathize with the no heat yet. My dad was thrown by a horse in the fall too. I’m glad your mom has other family close too. Being far is frustrating at times.
Gosh, DD, you have gone through so much in all these months I’ve been without ADSL, and I feel rotten I haven’t been around for support.
Your mom sounds inspirational, and since I have lupus, I can understand what she is going through (although her illness sounds much more serious). Hearing her story makes me feel stronger, and I am sending many thoughts her way.
What a bummer about your new place. Here is hoping that these things get worked out so you don’t have to move again. It is way too stressful.