Alex Update
Published by deviousdiva March 22nd, 2007 in Personal.This week has seen breakthroughs in the probable murder of little Alex Meshivili, more than a year after he disappeared on his way home from his basketball practice. I want to cry every time I read about him. I cannot help but identify with his mother. My kid is about the same age. They both love basketball and music. They are both “foreign”.
As a parent you worry about your child every single day. It is like a low level background noise that most of the time you manage to ignore and then it suddenly fills up your head and you wonder how you don’t notice it always.
The day before yesterday, my kid was approached by a pervert on his way to school, on the second day I let him walk alone. He followed him half the way and told him that he would give him money to kiss him. Can you imagine what this feels like? My baby in danger. On his first steps towards being independent. I will be walking him to school again. I would be walking him to school until he’s 18 if I had my way. I can’t protect him. I can’t make the world safe and good for him.
And then my mind naturally thinks about what could have happened. The worst scenarios. Things that NO parent should have to think about. I don’t have a religion but right now I wish I believed in a high power looking out for him. I wish I believed in guardian angels or spirits. Anything rather than thinking of my kid out there alone in the world.
We have told the school and the parents of his friends around the neighbourhood. Sadly, we found out that this is not an isolated incident. Several schools have reported various incidents of predators hanging around. I can’t bear thinking about it…
The kid is fine. We talked and will continue to do so as much as we need to. I’m not fine. I don’t know what to do with the anger I feel. The fear I feel. The knowing what could and does happen to children. The disgust that such people exist. For real. Not just newspaper stories but in your life.
I am in no way comparing what happened to Alex to what happened to the kid. I am just finding it very difficult to deal with the case of little Alex and thinking about how Natela, his mother, must be suffering.
So I’m just going to post the links to the updates about Alex.
CaliforniaKat says it better than me
Alex’s mother has been painstakingly waiting to learn her son’s whereabouts, with each day longer than the next. This may not have been the news she wanted to hear, but perhaps now she can stop wandering in the unknown and start walking a path toward grieving and healing.
[I am hesitating big time to hit publish on this post. I just felt it was important somehow, to let you know what we are going through right now.]
Technorati: Alex Meshivili, Greece, crime,
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Oh my god, I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now. If I think of my own anger at what your son just went through (and what children deal with every day) I can’t fathom being a parent having to deal with it.
Alex’s story is so tragic, and it shows us how much we need wake up about things like this.
What the hell is wrong with people today? Why do they do such things???
How upsetting! A friend of mine once related how a stranger exposed himself to her, but as an adult I think you can deal with the fact that it’s a pervert. A kid has no idea!
I’ve followed the Alex story on the fringes. I’m willing to accept that unfortunately pedophilia is an evil that’s been around since the beginning, but I would have thought that the human race had evolved enough to do the right thing when a child who cannot defend themselves is in danger. I just cannot understand that line of thinking. I feel so sorry for Alex’s parents. Am I correct in feeling that they are trial as much the culprits?
I have no idea how Natela and all the Natelas of the world do not go mad and pretend to be alive.
DD, I feel your anger about the incident. I’ve felt it many times for less severe stuff my children have encountered.
I felt better when my kids were younger, clasping my hand and I was on constant lookout. But, they grow up, claim their independence and set off on their own. All I can do -as a parent- is explain the dangers, ask them to always be vigilant and send them off with my love and poistive thoughts as their guardian angel. Otherwise I’ll go numb worrying about all the what-ifs.
Peace.
DD, I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your son. There is just too much evil in the world today. My daughter is everything to me and if something happened to her, I think I would be just like Alex’s parents.
Thank you all for responding to this post. It has been a horrible time but we are all feeling better now that we have taken steps (to warn the school and other parents). I will be taking the kid to school for the foreseeable future (perhaps the next 4 or 5 years!) We are going to try and track the guy down. I don’t know what happens then but we’ll take it from there…
I went to school in Greece up to the age of 15. When I was little, at primary school, my mom would walk me to the school for the first couple of years. After that she let me go on my own in the name of indepenence and my continued protests about how embarrassing it was for me to have my mom walk me. Afterall, the school was only 3-4 blocks away.
What she told me years later was that she frequently followed me without my knowledge, firstly to make sure I did not make any detours and secondly to make sure no one else was following me. Commando mom.
I am not quite sure how you would deal with that creepy guy once you discover who he is. Maybe get the cops to go to his place and inform him that some parents have made complaints about allegations from certain children? Maybe teach the kids to run to the nearest parent if this happens again. You know, the usual “no lollies from strangers” class lesson that should be repeated a few times a year so everyone remembers. Of course, the definition of a stranger will have to be scrutinised.
Hi Jinger, I can imagine myself doing the same thing as your mum! Having a kid myself, I finally understand my parents worrying about us and being what we thought, was over-protective.
We will be talking to the school again to see how they are proposing to deal with the issue with the children. I have talked to my kid many times in the past about what to do if he is approached by a stranger. It’s hard because, like you say, the definition of stranger is difficult to explain to a kid. Especially, as we live in a neighbourhood where people are so friendly and we chat to everyone.
The other day when we were discussing it and I said you must go to the first other adult you see, he turned round and said should I go to a man or a woman. What if the man I go to tries to talk to me like that too?
Difficult questions that no child should have to contemplate. I don’t want him to be scared of adults but to be safe. That’s the line we are exploring at the moment.
Thanks for your comment and bravo to “commando mum” for looking out for you and allowing you to feel independent and save you embarrassment. I have such a renewed admiration for parents and their resourcefulness.
Hold on!!!!!!!
This must NOT be left like that. Why not alert the police so that they apprehend him? That is the safe way to put him out of circulation. I am willing to help with my contacts with the police.
To all concerned by bsuch issues anytime anywhere. Do never let this go wihtout trying your best to see the perpetartor arrested!
This is not being left like this. I am trying my hardest to get evidence on this guy, including following my kid everyday, trying to get a picture.
If you can help Panayote, I am prepared to do what I can to help to get this guy. (The kid saw him again yesterday,heading towards the park where his friends hang out after school. I went up there to try and find him with no luck) Can we alert the police without a really good ID? What will they do? What CAN they do? All the kid can say is that he’s seen him and he has really crooked teeth.
I am willing to do what it takes to protect my “baby” and any “babies” out there from what this person might do. Bear in mind he didn’t touch him.It was just words. My kid’s teacher is allowing him to take a mobile to school despite the law against it, because it means he is safer.
Please advise me as to what I can do now. I want to see the guy arrested (and put away… for giving us more fear than we should have to know)