BLOG AGAINST SEXISM DAY
Published by deviousdiva March 8th, 2006 in Personal.I want to change the world.
Not because I want to be hero or to go down in history or to be the next [insert your favorite activist here]
I want to change the world because the one I live in doesn’t work.
It doesn’t work because it’s a man’s world and I cannot live the life I want in it.
It has been constructed and contained by men.
And for my whole life I will have to try and operate within it.
This is the world I live in
I will be given dolls and toy ovens and irons and vacuum cleaners in preparation for when I become someone’s wife.
I will not be encouraged to run wild and shout and take up lots of space.
I will be praised for being quiet and not talking too much.
I will learn that it is not ladylike to get angry or to raise my voice.
I will be told that nice girls keep their legs closed even though most images I will see will be of women with their legs open.
I will be bombarded with images of women skinny, scantily clad women, painted and packaged and held up as something to aspire to.
I will begin to fear men and their loud voices and their power.
I will learn to swallow my hurt and pain so as not to appear bitchy or uppity.
I will try and hold on to my much talked about and scrutinised virginity at the same time as being pressured to give it up or have it taken by force.
I will try and be sexually attractive so that someone will want me but be called a slut if I succeed.
I will not be encouraged to go onto higher education or to have a career. If I get there, it will be despite the obstacles put in my way.
If I manage to get a job I will not be paid the same wage as a man. It will probably be low-skilled, part-time or in the “caring professions” or in a supportive position.
I will be encouraged endlessly to find a husband and to settle down and to have children.
If I get pregnant at a time when I do not want to be, I will have to hope I live in a place where I can have a safe abortion and that I can get the permission to have one.
If I am sexually abused or raped I will be on trial. I will have to prove that it was not my fault. It was my fault though, if I was wearing a g-string, or if I was on a date, or if I was married to the rapist, or if I had said yes on a previous occasion, or if I had more than one partner or any number of other wrongdoings on my part.
Once I decide to have children, my choices over the birth will be limited depending on where I happen to live.
I will be at risk of induction or surgery if my labour doesn’t fit into the usual schedule that doctors have decided is normal.
After birth, I will be pretty much on my own in raising children, expected to give up work and dedicate the rest of my existence to my children.
It will not be understood if I want something more from my life.
It will be difficult, if not impossible, to continue my career if I have managed to start on one.
I will be made to feel guilty if I am not the perfect mum and the best housewife.
I will still have to struggle to be sexually attractive, thin and available.
I will also have to stay young but I will be old before men ever are.
There will be pressure to inject stuff into my lips, chop off bits of my bottom, suck fat out of my thighs, reshape my breasts or even mutilate my vagina to make it more attractive because it really is a rather nasty part of my body isn’t it?
I will shave off all unwanted hair that makes me look like a woman rather than a girl.
My sexuality will be scrutinised, studied and judged by men.
I will only be a lesbian if it is entertainment for men otherwise I am just sad because I can’t get a man.
I will be a bitch if I blame men for anything at all even though this is the world they created.
I will be judged as successful if I fit the model that men have set as the ideal way for a woman to be.
It is highly unlikely that I will have any part in running the country.
I will have little or no part in making or amending laws.
I will probably not be heading a huge corporations or any business for that matter.
I will play only a minor role in the media, if at all.
And then, at a certain age, I will disappear .
Once I have passed my sell-by date, somewhere around 40 or perhaps younger?
While my male counterparts are maturing, I will be old.
Washed up. Finished.
And I am one of the fortunate women.
I was not killed at birth because I was the wrong sex.
I was not mutilated genitally or otherwise.
I was not beaten or killed for being raped.
I was not forced into marriage or prostitution.
I have not become involved in pornography as a work option.
And on and on and on and on and on.
I do not need surveys, studies and statistics to know that women are held down and held back their entire lives.
I only have to listen to myself, talk to other women or read what other women write.
This is how women live.
And I do not want to live in this world.
And half the planet does not want to live in this world.
Every day should be Women’s Day until sexism ends.
Every day should be Women’s Day until we are in control equally with men.
We are what the world needs.
Blog against Sexism Day is the initiative of vegankid
Technorati Tags: Blog against Sexism
this touched me very much
my mother is my hero
well she died few years ago but she did all her best to raised good daughters inspite the fact she was a hard working career oriented, single parent.
these days i think with awe how she did that…..
To my point of view as a male the struggle between sexes has long found its end. The historical transformation of the slave housewife into an equal opportunist was the product of communisms socio-collective ideal. Wanting to recruit a strong working class to meet its ethnocentric self-sufficient socio-economic demands communism made no distinction between sexes. Of course the equality was not promoted because of moral humanitarian beliefs but solely for socioeconomic structural beliefs as both sexes didn’t enjoy other basic rights that their westerns neighbors did such as there political rights.
It is to be noted that during those times working didn’t mean sitting in front of a computer all day nor answering phone calls nor driving a taxi around town. During those days work meant working in the fields, in the mines, constructing rail roads and many other very physically demanding jobs with a very hazardous environment, don’t take me wrong, I don’t underestimate women’s physical strengths but for crying out loud, somebody had to stay home to take care of the children and the home and not because of a societal duty but more because of nature itself.
The western capitalistic individualistic system believed in a strong family where the mother would stay home and the man would go out and work while he consequently would be given the right to vote. I say “consequently” because it is pure common sense that a person who goes out and works will be more involved in understanding the socioeconomic structure of his country and therefore would be more literate politically than his wife who stays home all day. Although they deprived women from many freedoms that men privileged from the westerners did it because of moral beliefs and rational political consequences not for exploitation purposes as the communist did. Anyhow this deprivation is what gave birth to feminism, the doctrine advocating social, political and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
After the end of the cold war and the collapse of the soviet union the western world lost its biggest enemy and together its purpose identity. There was noone to race against, there was nobody to prove wrong, capitalism and its pluralistic democracy had finally prevailed proving to be the best possible socioeconomic structure. Traditional values eventually collapsed and a new enemy had to be found fast.
Today we live in a world where risk is our biggest enemy, risk of the environment, risk of carcinogenic food, risk of additives, risk of Health. Man and Women finally found what seams to be the biggest enemy of all times, humans themselves.
Today we live in a risk managing society where risk is man made. Society has reached its peak when referring to its socioeconomic structure and its been a plateau for the last 15 years. The precautionary principle is now carved in our social contract and as an outcome we have reached the point of feminization of society.
The feminization of society meaning that all the female conservative, nurturing and caring traits are praised and promoted, while all the male adventurous, aggressive mischievous traits are condemned as risky and unhealthy.
So conclusively I believe there is no real point in talking about the sexism or feminism in 21st century Europe since it would mean taking the skeleton out of the closet. I believe that feminism itself is a regressive insult of the contemporary woman unless there is a need for some to fulfill there inferiority complex.
WOW DD! I LOVE what you wrote and I feel the same. We are absolutely what the world needs! Happy Women’s Day and keep going strong!
Brilliant post!
Hello again sha, thank you for sharing your feelings about your mother. It is truly amazing what women do despite the hardships.
Thank you Anonymous and Winter for the compliments. Today has been amazing, reading all those wonderful women (and men) out there, writing away, taking action, speaking up. I know nothing has changed since yesterday except some of us feel less isolated.
Yankie, it is quite obvious from your comment that you are male. You didn’t need to state it. It is also quite obvious that you did not read my post. For all the reasons I wrote above, feminism, is still very much a necessity. If you are threatened by feminism (and I sense you are by what you say about male traits being condemned) might I suggest it is not us that have the inferiority complex.
I was going to delete your comment because it is MY day today and I couldn’t be bothered but I felt it was important to answer your comment. So I did.
I very much respect your answer DD as much as I did your essay and appreciate the sparing of my freedom of written expression. It was not of my intention to disrupt YOUR day and I would love to continue posting my thoughts in your blog even though I don’t find it very polite to be threatened as a new comer.
Have my best wishes on this lovely day that makes us remember Women, but I think that people should be praised every day and not transformd in to one more consuming day…
Not much I can add to such a comprehensive post Diva except thank you for expressing the thoughts and feelings of so many women. Happy Women’s Day to you!
Well, you can continue to post Yankie and no, you didn’t disrupt my day at all and really, what are you threatened by? I just couldn’t be bothered. You know what I mean? Anyway, I am usually sickenly polite to newcomers but…you know what …I am bored…I am so bored of having to explain myself and my views and my opinions that I just stopped. Please don’t remember Women this day. or everyday or every minute. Please remember that WE are half the planet, half the world. We don’t have to be remembered. We are here. We have always been. And we always will be.
SeaWitch, Hey you! Long time no see? I don’t know about you but Women’s Day, in real life, was like every day? I got up early. As usual. I did the washing. As usual. I looked after a sick child. As usual. I cooked. As usual. I cleaned. As usual. I am going to bed..As usual.
EXCEPT TODAY. I met a lot of other women (and some men) who are on our side, who are with us Who understand. Thank you all
zardoz says:
HELLO mrs DD ,
I’ve been thinking of commenting , .. but come up short..
after what you wrote.
JUST the same watched with anewed interest on the TELLY
” THE VAGINA DIALOGUES ”
AND THINK THAT I GOT MY CLOSURE FOR THE DAY X 365.
BE HAPPY , STAY STRONG.
==Z==
Very nice post, DeviousDiva. What is great about blogging “events” like this are all the different perspectives that come out. How different women end up blogging about sexism.
Really great.
Yes. Exactly. Thank you for writing this.
Very powerful and moving post!
What a brilliant post, DD. Thanks for sharing, you’ve stated the truth of everything really well.
Thank you for all your great words. I had a vibrant and motivating Womens Day because of this Blog day.
Big thanks should go to vegankid for the initiative.
Yes, well said!
Until we can cross off most of your list, attention must be paid. Thank you, DD, for saying so well what all of us feel and know to be true. We live this EVERY DAY and somehow we forget to point out the disparity because (sadly) we’ve become so accustomed to it. For how long must we struggle and argue and continually prove our worth ‘merely as equals’ ?!
As a married woman without children (and with no intentions of ever having them) you have no idea how many times I’ve had to explain and justify my position to others. Just because I HAVE a uterus doesn’t mean I have to use it — I mean, I don’t think I’m using my appendix or tonsils for anything either but you don’t see anyone making a fuss
On a more serious note: I may be thankful today that I don’t live in South Dakota, but all of your US citizen readers had better wake up and smell the conservative coffee that’s a-brewin’….(lest I, or someone like me, be forced someday to use her uterus against her will). It’s shameful, really, that more people are not expressing outrage.
Thanks Kat.
Welcome Susan. You make some great points in your comments. I completely agree with what you writ about South Dakota and I am pretty certain that this disgusting legislation is set to spread. For those of us who do not live in SD, we should remember that unless we protest against this, our rights will be taken away from us too.
Yes, and unfortunately the stage is being set for a similar abortion ban in Tennessee (my home state). Scary, scary stuff.
beautiful. i got chills!!!
This is ridiculous malignant narcississm. Men and women are not the same. Trying to make them the same is like trying to pound a square peg into a round hole. It is stupid and will end breaking the peg, the hole, or, more likely, both. If people call you bitchy, you probably just are. Nobody likes bitchy men either, cupcake. Men who don’t dress in nice designer clothes don’t get noticed as much as men who do.
And it’s the ultimate malignant narcissism that you think murdering babies is some civil right.
You need to wake up and get over yourselves.
Matt, maybe just a coincidence but I couldn’t help noticing that your comment came on April Fools Day. I am not a cupcake and this post was not about you.
I know, it’s all about YOU!
Where did I say it was all about me?
That’s the whole problem with your post, you think everything is a conspiracy against you. Nobody’s out to get you, you can rest easy.
Oh, and, God Bless South Dakota! Let freedom ring for the unborn, LIberated from the tyranny of Feminism!!
At the end of your comment you try to say what about us poor men?
“Nobody likes bitchy men either, cupcake. Men who don’t dress in nice designer clothes don’t get noticed as much as men who do.”
That’s what I mean when I say “this post is not about you”
No, Diva, you are the one wallowing in narcissistic self-pity, not I. My response is more along the line of "things are tough all over, baby." Unlike you, I don't sing sad songs for myself, nor do I want to be pitied. I guess you can't understand that.
Hey- here's the latest post on my blog, enjoy-
I tackle your whole problem. Hope it helps you out.
Matt, How dare you write about your childish opinions about me and then post a link to it on MY blog. I have removed it.
DD, he is posting at my blog, too. He is just a silly, angry boy, and uninformed, too.
Trolls like this are perfect tools to use to prove your point……aikido-fashion.
I only wrote the truth. Remove it if you like. I give Diva credit, she doesn’t erase what I write on her blog, which bespeaks of some respect for freedom of thought. I don’t delete anyone’s posts unless they curse or spam. TxFeminazi deletes everything that doesn’t toe the Party Line. It’s funny that she thinks she even has a point to prove, she just spouts propaganda. And I laugh at her “aikido” comment. Is that supposed to be some kind of threat? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! I wish your face was near so I could laugh in it.
OK Diva, I’ll lighten up. I think you’re wrong about a great many things, but you have your noble characteristics too.
Txfeminist does not delete “everything that doesn’t toe the Party Line”. Your comments on her site are there! I read some yesterday. So that is a lie.
You are entitled to your opinion but many, many people disagree with you. If you want to go around commenting on feminist blogs you have to expect the kind of reaction you are getting here. The thing that gets up people’s noses about you is that you resort to insulting people rather than arguing the issues. Name calling and judging people from your rather narrow point of view does nothing to further the debate (I have asked people time and time again to read my guidelines which states exactly that) Please take a little time to think before you post. People do not take kindly to insults. The truth is you do not know me or anyone else here.